Mistissini, QC-Based Indigenous Rock Artist Sinematic Battles Inner Turmoil In “War With Myself”
Everyone has moments of self-doubt, but for those who must manage mental health issues, it can become a full-blown war. Indigenous hard rock artist Sinematic expresses this struggle in their new single, “War With Myself”, which also features guitar, bass, and drums from artist Loris Castiglia.
The song opens with solemn vocals from Sinematic’s lead singer Ayden Gray, whose voice is a little reminiscent of Danny Elfman as the character Jack Skellington from the film Nightmare Before Christmas. For the first couple of verses, Gray sings of a suspended state of disbelief and darkness before the chorus comes in.
“I can’t go on
fighting like this
always feeling
alone and worthless
at war with the world”
An interesting aspect of the chorus is how the singer goes from a state of despair to clarity. The second half of the chorus has them realizing that they are upset with themselves rather than the world around them.
In fact, part of the song’s inspiration comes from the internal struggle that can cause you to blame others for your own problems.
The artist states,
“It’s about that self-doubt, that voice in your head that makes you think you are not good enough. Making you feel like it’s always someone else’s fault for the way that you feel, sometimes the bitter truth is that it’s you who are hurting you.”
The song’s first three verses are accompanied by guitar that takes on a heavier metal riff once the growls come into the background at the fourth verse. The growls enhance the song’s dark tone expressed by the lead vocals and lyrics.
Near the song’s end, the singer’s vocals become a passionate cry for help as they try to push the listener away while also asking them to truly see them. Lyrically and vocally, this pre-chorus is the most poignant display of the inner struggle discussed throughout the song. To hate yourself and believe you aren’t worthy of getting help while trying to ask for it is a familiar experience for those who struggle with mental health.
Sinematic confirms this as they dedicate the song to those with mental health issues.
“I would like to base this song on Mental Health Awareness Month in May to help spread awareness because I know I’m not the only one and would love to connect with people through this song, to let them know that it isn’t our fault the way we feel.”
Sinematic’s first album Relentless was released in 2020, spawning singles that included, “Take You Away”, “Won’t Go Back”, “Rat In A Cage”, and “Wait Forever.” Their second album, The Dark Circus was released in 2022 and featured the single “Indigenous”. Their newest single “War With Myself” is their first release for 2023.
Listen to “War With Myself” below and learn more about Sinematic via our mini-interview.
Care to introduce yourself?
My name is Ayden Gray from Sinematic, I am an Indigenous artist and musician from Mistissini, QC. I am classically trained on piano and vocals and have been doing music since I was 8. I started making my own music at the age of 13, created my first publicly released album in 2013, and continued to make music that diverges in different directions and emotions. Lyrics are often centered around the themes of love and loss, life and death, and the balance between light and dark. Its theatrical ambiance can take you away into a dramatic, haunting trance that can either mend your heart or drown you in the melody surrounding it. The music will take you on a darkened journey and show you the listener to summon the light inside yourself to survive.
Tell us about the process of writing “War With Myself.”
This song took 3 months to create and as always for me, I start with the music first and the lyrics second. Sometimes it takes a long time to figure out what to say, what to talk about, and how I want it to flow. The music writing process majority of the time comes from when I sit at the piano and pluck around ideas. I love to play with synths and electronic sounds with some orchestral strings behind it. I also connected with Loris Castiglia from Italy who helped back it up with guitar, bass, and drums. He’s also a talented musician who agreed in helping me complete this song. Lyrics for War With Myself took a while to construct because I didn’t know what to sing about, I was struggling with ideas and thoughts and even got inside my head about why nothing is working out? I had a bit of disbelief and creator’s block that made me feel like I’m not good enough at that moment to continue. So, with that feeling of fighting with myself came the inspiration of the idea that some people do struggle with their own thoughts and feelings like they aren’t good enough. The chorus is what came first, “I can’t go on fighting like this, always feeling alone and worthless.” I hope this song can tell people that no matter what you are going through it’s ok to feel down sometimes but don’t listen to that voice that says we don’t deserve happiness. I have also dedicated this song to Mental Health Awareness Month in hopes to make awareness that mental health is something we don’t have to suffer with in silence.
What’s it like being a musician in Mistissini, QC?
It gets hard at times being a musician in a community like Mistissini, especially when your music is completely different from what others are used to. I live in a place where hip-hop, rap, country, and gospel are the music that everyone around me listens to and when I bring something different it’s like being a Cheerio in a bowl of Fruit Loops. I understand everyone has their own tastes in music and I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but here I am in an isolated area exposing my emotions and expressing my thoughts, and the majority of locals pretend not to see me. I get more support from listeners in other countries I can’t even pronounce, and for that I am grateful. Just recently I have been invited to perform at their events and I can’t be anymore thankful for them giving me that chance. It’s a beautiful community and its scenery of nature is always inspiring.
Who was the first Canadian artist to blow you away?
One Canadian rock band artist that blew me away and is also an influence and inspiration is Three Days Grace. The first time I heard this band was in 2003 when they released singles like “Home” “I Hate Everything About You” and “Just Like You.” I was in love with their sound and music since I saw them live and still to this day am keeping up with their music even after they switched singers. I’ll always be a fan of this band.
You’ve been making music for a while now, what’s one piece of advice you can offer to those starting out?
Practice, practice, practice!!! When you love doing what you do and love what you are creating, it shouldn’t matter what others think, it’s your art. If you’re confident, proud, and believe in the music you make, don’t let fear stop you because if you truly love your art, someone out there will too.