Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington passed away and it was suicide. As someone who was a senior in high school during Linkin Park’s heyday, and has experienced suicidal ideation, I have extremely strong feelings about this.
The biggest thing you probably should know about my relationship with the music of Linkin Park is that I was really, really into them during the 18 months or so before I began to really start to think something was wrong with me (basically the last years of high school). Re-listening to selections off of Hybrid Theory and Meteoria this evening, I am brought back to a very difficult time where I didn’t know why I was feeling extremely sad all the time, and why I was freaking out so much. I did not know how to deal with it or even begin to talk about it. Much of it at the time manifested in panic attacks that those around me didn’t know what to make of, and I slowly began to isolate myself to avoid a lot of the pain I was in.
At the time, I was listening and trying out a lot of music that was out of my previous comfort zones at the time as well, and Linkin Park was definitely a group I found myself drawn to. After almost two decades of exclusively listening to classic pop/rock, it was “edgier” than what I was used to, but still super catchy at the same time. (I think they might have even been the one group to really bridge the gap between hip-hop and rock for me at least, and made me begin to appreciate electronic music.) I would never become a hardcore fan or idolize them at all. After all to this day, nothing beats a good Beatles song to comfort the soul, and groups like Our Lady Peace and Barenaked Ladies* were great at highlighting deep emotions while keeping me extremely engaged and entertained.
(*Greater Canadian public, say what you want about BNL, but I dare you to go revisit all of Gordon and not make a mental note of how many songs are about or allude to domestic violence or mental illness. That’s the album that brought us “If I Had a $1000000” and “Be My Yoko Ono” and was a good 20 years before Steven Page got himself into substance abuse trouble. There was always a lot more to that band than the goofy radio singles lead you to believe.)
But if I have to be honest of my true emotions and feelings of that period in my life, Linkin Park is what it felt like to know I was losing control of everything I’d previously thought about myself. I didn’t rely on their music as a place of comfort, but in those times when I just couldn’t fathom listening to something a little happier, Linkin Park was exactly what I needed to have in my music collection to get me through whatever was going to happen. So, yes, this death in this way is a rough one to accept. After all, it wasn’t necessarily Mike Shinoda’s rapping that cut straight through the soul – it was Chester Bennington’s alternating soft vocals and metal screams that was the true release.
With this in mind, much like the period after the death of Bennington’s close friend, Chris Cornell, this has become a time of discussion regarding depression and the impact of suicide. As is always the case, I would encourage folks to reach out to a crisis hotline or even emergency services if they’re are experiencing thoughts of self harm. I have had to call these lines, and as much as it does take time, doing so will lead to the help you need.
But I would also like to take a moment and encourage people also simply seek out education on the subject of mental health and mental illness. It’s common for a lot of folks to simply dismiss suicidal inclination and suicide itself as “selfish” (especially considering Bennington was the father of six children); when most of the time, there’s a lot more going on and much of it has nothing to do with how the person feels about the loved ones around them.
CrashCourse: Psychology
Psychological Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #28
https://youtu.be/wuhJ-GkRRQc?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
OCD & Anxiety Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #29
https://youtu.be/aX7jnVXXG5o?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
Depressive and Bipolar Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #30
https://youtu.be/ZwMlHkWKDwM?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
Trauma & Addiction: Crash Course Psychology #31
https://youtu.be/343ORgL3kIc?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
Schizophrenia & Dissociative Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #32
https://youtu.be/uxktavpRdzU?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
Eating and Body Dysmorphic Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #33
https://youtu.be/eMVyZ6Ax-74?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
Personality Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #34
https://youtu.be/4E1JiDFxFGk?list=PL8dPuuaLjXtOPRKzVLY0jJY-uHOH9KVU6
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National Crisis Hotlines and Resources
Kids Help Phone
1-800-668-6868
Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention
204-784-4073
Canadian Mental Health Association
613-745-7750
Collateral Damage
807-768-5217
Toll Free: 888-835-9041
Mental Health Commission
613-683-3755
Mood Disorders Society of Canada
519-824-5565
Schizophrenia Society of Canada
1-800-263-5545
The Jack Project
416-425-2494
Your Life Counts
289-820-5777
Your Life Counts – Military Directorate
British Columbia
Crisis Centre
Toll free: 1-800-784-2433
No area code: 310-6789
Aboriginal Wellness Program
604-875-6601
Canadian Mental Health Association – British Columbia Division
604-688-3234
Toll free: 1-800-555-8222
Here to Help
1-800-661-2121
Greater Vancouver Area: 604-872-3311
Howe Sunshine & Sunshine Coast: 1-866-661-3311
Alberta
Distress Centre
403-266-4357
Canadian Mental Health Association – Alberta Division
780-482-6576
Centre for Suicide Prevention
403-245-3900
Suicide Information and Education Services
403-342-4966
Saskatchewan
Saskatoon Crisis Intervention Service
306-933-6200
Mobile Crisis Services
306-757-0127
Canadian Mental Health Association – Saskatchewan Division
1-800-461-5483
Manitoba
Manitoba Suicide Line
1-877-435-7170
Canadian Mental Health Association – Manitoba Division
204-982-6100
Klinic Community Health
204-784-4090
Mental Health Education Resource Centre of Manitoba
1-855-942-6568
Yukon
Yukon Health and Social Services
1-800-667-8346
Mood Disorders Society of Canada – Yukon Division
867-667-8346
Depression Understood
403-668-9111
Northwest Territories
Northwest Territories Help Line
867-767-9061
CASP – Northwest Territories Crisis Centre
1-800-661-0844
Nunavut
Nunavut Kamatsiaqtut Help Line
1-800-265-3333
Ontario
Gerstein Crisis Centre
416-929-5200
Ontario Mental Health Helpline
1-866-531-2600
Canadian Mental Health Association – Ontario Division
416-977-5580
Connex Ontario Health Services
1-866-531-2600
Crisis Line
In Ottawa: 613-722-6914
Outside Ottawa: 1-866-996-0991
Distress and Crisis Ontario
416-486-2242
Do It For Daron
613-722-6521
Family Association for Mental Health Everything (FAME)
416-207-5032
Hincks-Dellcrest Centre
1-855-944-4673
Ontario Association for Suicide Prevention
647-525-6277
Ontario Shores Centre for Mental Health Services
1-800-341-6323
Self-Help Resource Centre
1-866-283-8806
Toronto Distress Centre
416-408-4357
Toronto Rape Crisis Centre
416-597-8808
Waterloo Region Suicide Prevention Council
844-437-3247
York Support Services Network
1-866-695-0070
Youthdale’s Crisis Support Team
416-363-9990
Quebec
Centre de Prevention du Suicide de Quebec
1-866-277-3553
Action on Mental Illness
1-877-303-0264
Centre de Prevention du Suicide du Haut-Richelieu
450-348-6300
Movement Sante Mentale Quebec
514-849-3291
Newfoundland and Labrador
Coalition Against Violence
1-888-737-4668
Canadian Mental Health Association – Newfoundland and Labrador Division
1-877-753-8550
New Brunswick
Chimo Helpline
1-800-667-5005
Canadian Mental Health Association – New Brunswick Division
506-455-5231
Prince Edward Island
The Island Helpline
1-800-218-2885
Canadian Mental Health Association – Prince Edward Island Division
902-566-3034
Nova Scotia
Capital Health – Mental Health Mobile Crisis
1-888-429-8167
Canadian Mental Health Association – Nova Scotia Division
1-888-429-8167
Mental Health Foundation of Nova Scotia
902-464-6000